When we first learned that Disney had plans to build a park based on the magical world of Pandora from the film Avatar, Dragon’s
face lit up wings fluttered with excitement. In the past, he’s been lucky enough to save a city from gargoyles and even make friends with goblins at a real life Hogwarts (story coming soon), but this would be the first time he’d get the chance to meet a banshee. He couldn’t wait to race with them while soaring high through the sky amidst Pandora’s floating mountains and waterfalls and could hardly contain his giddy elation on the day we finally arrived in the magical land.
What we didn’t expect when we got there was to fall in love with a flower that seemed to be just as excited about things. Maybe a little too excited.
Interactive plants are a big focus of Pandora. They respond to touch and react to their environments in ways designed to make guests oooo and ahhh. We weren’t prepared for the reaction we’d get when met with one plant in particular that was maybe just a little too happy to see us. Or maybe it’s just a bit lonely and longs for some human touch. We all need someone to love.
Meet the Penis Plant – Disney’s accidentally pornographic flower.
But enough with science lessons. Because this flower is obviously something special. And a good illustration that we have absolutely no idea the way that flowers get down and frisky on the planet of Pandora.
Why? Well, aside from the obvious observation that it stands about 15 feet tall, the Penis Plant (you can applaud me on my clever name for it later) actually ejaculates when stroked.
We honestly really can’t think of any better way to describe it.
There’s a spot at the base of its shaft where it likes to be touched. Stroke it there, and it begins to vibrate. Keep rubbing, and it even starts to moan.
Then, things get a little STEAMY…
Yes, you did just watch it squirt its plant juices all over the place. Maybe you’d like to see again? For science, of course.
Yep, that’s one happy plant. To get the full effect though, you really have to hear it groan and moan….ya know, just before the big finish. And that can only be done by watching the video. So here ya go, lovelies. I present to you Plant Porn. It’s gonna be 2018’s hottest new category on Pornhub and Redtube. You just wait.
Hear it Moan
And…now this story has come to its climax, folks. (Climax – ha! Tell me I’m funny.) Thanks for watching, and see ya again soon for more silliness. Because life should never be too serious. Take an example from a plant, and learn to let go and have a little fun. And above all else– LOVE YOURSELF.
Pin Me for Later?